Tell her she can't have a vagina
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
