Duck Duck Cougar?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
