Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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