I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
