fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
