does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
True strength comes from lack of pants
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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