I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Randomize
