She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
