So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
