he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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