Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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