I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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