There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
