I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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