is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
