She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
only if we run a train.
done.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
your like the ambassador to my penis.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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