we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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