I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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