he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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