If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
