just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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