Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
the raccoons are back...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
