Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
