Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
