whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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