Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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