god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
