thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
