So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
