Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm like, not good at living.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
