Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
