I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
