She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
