You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
