you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
