Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
