I'm really into asian looking animals
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
