I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
