I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
