I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
