hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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