actually, I'm a sock model
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
