discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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