How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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