How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
