We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
