I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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