Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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