i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
