I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
