David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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